argh

i think about you all the damn time.

glitch

school's starting soon. cut the thoughts and FOCUS!

i've always loved you

and i'll never lose you again or let you go

i'll waste all my phone bills on you

i'll waste all my time thinking about you

i'll find every way to get to you

because its a happy house of love :)

you make me whole.

bound to take off

past present future

you're the only guy i really think about.

the climax will come and possibly end this complex relationship.

________________________________________________________________

raymond says: (5:59:43 PM)hey
natalie / sunny christmas says: (5:59:57 PM)hey!
raymond says: (6:00:07 PM)sorry it took so long

________________________________________________________________


Raymond Herrly (France) wrote
at 5:51pm
Merry Christmas!!

Joyeux Noel!!!

Love Ray

_______________________________________________________________

christmas is full of love and promises

dreams do go beserk

first kisses. how ironic

how could you

be in fiction

tango of words

quests of worlds

blank

the uncompromised search for love

overtake

how do i live without you

well i assume you're always there

miss you crazy

its terribly hard being your wife

there's competition!

includes other girls
includes time travel
includes school
includes rarely any opportunity

i hate this type of extraordinary loving.

: (

once there were giants

and now he's taller

double life

theres me

theres you

and theres miles in between

miles and miles and miles

everything stays the same

fly away and forget about yesterday

skater

i love mervin

he calls raymond the overseas dude : O

dreams

i've yet to say...i dreamt about you last night, or this morning.

you're something real i hope. i pray!

we were together physically. transfered cross the continents!

like wow. haha. i'm fulfilling my life goals in dream land.

mystical. its mickey's magic!

rain in spain

if you are ever rain as in the korean rain, singer actor and dancer, and hell good entertainer, i thank you for being such a force to be reckoned with. sammy bought your free korea concert rain world tour vcd plus cd and it was hell good!

decent singer. and so cute!

too bad you were an mcp in full house who turned good

which is the exactly kind of person that makes me fluffy?

haha. rain's a great performer. jia you!

if you ever come to singapore again with a lesser profit making concert

respect : )

the i never really loved you anyway award

mr darcy is hot!

mcp mcp mcp mcp mcp mcp mcp

thats a soft spot

i am pretty sorry

american pie 3 is so C class as compared to pride and prejudice.

reading the book was the torture so i chanced the movie adaption of 2005

charming really. charming. growing fond of the character of mr darcy.

so unmistakable the discussion of hunters and gatherers randall and i discussed this mass with follow ups from the guys

i bet you i'm quite certain i know what to fall for

not silly korean soap fantasies

i admit i truly like the cutting edge mr darcy as the hottest mcp yet.

bad boys turned good. a delight.

黑龙 is much the man i respect

thus forth i need one out of a tale

love natalie. XXXXXXX

take a look through my eyes

There are things in life you'll learn and
In time you'll see
Cause out there somewhere
It's all waiting
If you keep believing
So don't run, don't hide
It will be all right
You'll see, trust me
I'll be there watching over you

Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place
somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
If you look through my eyes


i don't usually cry : X

gridiron

everything's still interlocked. intact.

a holiday isn't really a holiday. your mind is still in the same presence.

an answer to a need, come back soon.

do you remember the time

Do You Remember
When We Fell In Love
We Were Young
And Innocent Then
Do You Remember
How It All Began
It Just Seemed Like Heaven
So Why Did It End?

not a typical love story

pretense. can you stop flying away!

i'm still trying to completely not think about you/

possibe?

haha.

*dances in circles*

life

you know what


i actually think songyan is right


i live well, eat well, sleep well.






breathe well

where is the line

when is it time to give up



this was what i lived for


there's too many things to prove it true






natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:42:12 PM)
i need a substitute!!!
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:42:56 PM)
nat..... you're not taking relationships seriously
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:43:20 PM)
they arent for your convenience
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:43:20 PM)
it involves lives
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:44:18 PM)
yeah but its just my situation, my life is so different from the rest
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:44:23 PM)
i'm not a kid singaporean
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:44:29 PM)
i'm a french kid!
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:44:53 PM)
EVEN MY 6 YEAR OLD AMERICAN COUSIN TALKS ABOUT GUYS ALREADY
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:45:21 PM)
nat, you're singaporean.... dont live in a fantasy
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:48:38 PM)
yeah but don't recall being one
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:48:39 PM)
haha
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:48:41 PM)
damn it
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:49:00 PM)
bren you knew all along since dunno when i love raymond hurely or herrly or whoever. and its real
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:49:23 PM)
ya... but be yourself nat... why be some french??
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:52:17 PM)
haha i don't know
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:52:31 PM)
if i liked a singaporean, i'll do the same thing probably
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:52:57 PM)
its not like i invented this to impress anyone
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:53:18 PM)
ya, but why arent you being natalie?
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:54:02 PM)
i am
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:54:06 PM)
natalie loves raymond
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:54:21 PM)
ya... but is nat french?
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:54:39 PM)
does it matter whether the guy i like is some globalised citizen?
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:55:12 PM)
it matters that you are being something/someone else, rather than yourself
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:55:50 PM)
yeah i know
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:55:57 PM)
so i wanna get out of it soon
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:56:07 PM)
once i meet him in person, probably everything will change
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:56:27 PM)
do really you need that?
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:56:44 PM)
yeah
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:56:55 PM)
its a dream to complete, not to leave hanging and dreading
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:57:18 PM)
dont live in a dream/fantasy...
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:58:15 PM)
if there's only one thing that my heart desires, this is it
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (11:58:32 PM)
cliche nat... cliche
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:59:28 PM)
its not
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (11:59:35 PM)
its so real that i can't put it down
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:00:04 AM)
i don't believe in cinderella stories. once i watched goong, i was like oohhh fantasy, not gonna happen, i'm not watching
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:00:51 AM)
i dont know nat.....
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:01:02 AM)
just wait for him to come by....
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:01:05 AM)
dont get obssessed
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:02:56 AM)
hahaha yeah
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:03:10 AM)
thats why the ALTERNATIVE. THE SUBSTITUTE. what is it!
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:03:59 AM)
you do not sub a person with a person
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:04:10 AM)
you're not playing a game, or playing with an object
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:04:18 AM)
it's a live you're playing with...
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:05:58 AM)
life you mean
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:06:03 AM)
i'm not playing
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:06:08 AM)
i'm the victim of myself
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:06:47 AM)
ya.... and you'll be making a victim out of someone else too if you have that Substitute
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:09:13 AM)
nah
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:09:17 AM)
then i'll try to forget
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:09:59 AM)
dont forget, just embrace, but dont let it control you
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:10:01 AM)
get it?
natalie got scolded by gong for crying while getting her flu jab : \ says: (12:11:41 AM)
maturity!
Servant of Love; J.M. + J.T how can you dictate something you're not subdued to? says: (12:12:15 AM)
yeah.... something like that

love

can i disclose this?

autumn's set to misery

oh the monsoon!

the ploy you made to make me more in love with you

* You dated but now you aren't speaking. It's complicated.
* You went to preschool with Raymond.
* You met randomly: we were kids. natalie 'protected' raymond. and they definitely kissed. haha. today only natalie remembers most of the things and raymond has become her drug. : \
...poor nat....; )
yup nat's SUPER POOR THING IN THIS 'RELATIONSHIP' ! depression already happened.
* You are Facebook friends.
* You hooked up and it was forever.


i had to prove to the guys i lived in paris.
i had to note that you were there too
and you're still here. and i still love you

fool

FOOL FOR A NIGHT
Written by:
Andy Gibb

Performed by:
Andy Gibb

Album:
Shadow Dancing
(1978)

Transcript by
Xavi Parellada, SeeGeeB

You don't want to come home cryin'
Lose that magic in your smile
Give it up before you start it
Start to die

Why be a fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it grow
Someone you don't really know

A fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it show
Someone you don't really know

Old emotions time has borrowed
Tend to make you think you're right
You're the one I'll always follow
For all times

Why be a fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it grow
Someone you don't really know

A fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it show
Someone you don't really know

And if you run away
You can't escape from the price you pay,oh no
And when you realize nobody else will care
Where are the friends you made

No one is left who can show the way, oh no
And when the burden ends, I will heal you
Time will turn you back to me

A fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it grow
Someone you don't really know

A fool for a night
You'd be a fool to fall for a night
Gotta let it show
Someone you don't really know

chuckle

I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your love do for me
When will love be through with me

Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends

One day I'll fly away
fly fly away

___________________________________________________________

clarence lend me a blank cd. sadly it didnt turn out blank. this is a moulin rogue song from it. the dream will end would it?

haha. i saw fin with his piano audience of girls after school.

you give me a rose and my heart flips. i'm over the moon.

and totally lost!

waiting

road i'm taking is off course to many else.
but love it and live it.

late

yes you're late again. its meant to get more pressurizing by the day.

acculumation

Raymond has kissed Natalie using SuperPoke! 11:01pm

jealously is an evil thing.

strong

hello father in law! prepared as always i am.

lap

while loving you is destructive
while hating you is recovery

spins for directions

made for the threshold

here's to cc's girlfriend and me sharing about: distance.

really brings a closure to the year does it?

her's is v far away. me: v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v far away. more v for more valentines! :) yeah but i rather sacrifice them.

giggling and believing. not the key

seeking and living. an improvement!!!

phone bill please.

why

why are we learning histories when we don't even know our past

why are we needing fast facts about headline stars when we don't even know much about ourselves.

why do we have more opinions about others than ourselves.

why is life full of questions and barely of contentment.





i question his love

top 10 reasons

i invented this over the last week

why nat should get rid of the whole 'r h' dream. get over it!

1. he doesnt owe me anything. neither do i own him
2. i need back HEALTH and the loss of time over the years
3. he's too far away. plus its the wrong time zone (contributed)
4. i'm tired
5. i'm sure its not feasible anymore
6. i'm living in the past
7. i'm going crazy
8. i cannot be so demanding
9. childhood is childhood
10. there is a beginning and end to everything.

f: so how do u feel now tt he seems interested
n: he doesnt
n: i don't think he does.
n: i mean come on he lived in france forever. obviously he inherited those 'never offend girls' charmer traits
f: thats possible too

porus pot

the possibility of simplicity falling through

you're just too hard to forget.

run along you, run along and never come back

you are not a secret!


chng wants to be my lingerie model. oh boy.

regret!

i wished i recorded our first conversation

i wished i had remembered his voice properly

random flashbacks make me grin inappropriately

feeling's just too insane

tired

its time to end the climax of it all

: ] i sent my letter of resignation





sweat. eye begs. lack of sleep. phlegm.

speechless

he's too sweet. and too nice. i'm being too self centred!

natalie. says: (4:48:36 AM)well singapore has mostly other types of chinese
natalie. says: (4:48:42 AM)so i'm a rare breed. !
natalie. says: (4:48:44 AM)....
raymond says: (4:49:26 AM)yea, ur a rare breed to stay up til 5 in the morning to talk to french guys half way across the globe

raymond says: (5:03:19 AM)u must be dead
natalie. says: (5:03:27 AM)not that badraymond says: (5:03:40 AM)ur gonna wake up at 2 in teh after noon
natalie. says: (5:03:51 AM)just treating it like some sleepover
raymond says: (5:04:15 AM)except im 5000 miles away
natalie. says: (5:04:19 AM)yeah. but hmmm this is like once in a lifetime?
raymond says: (5:04:53 AM)once in al lifetim??? i didnt spend all that time getting msn to jst use it once!!


haha. sy dear. i'm not with him!!!

happy birthday to my baby m : )

'anyway, it was nice talking w/ u, u do hav a very nice voice and i loooove ur accent (jst a little hard to understand for me...:)).'

kk says he sounds desperate. how dare you kk!

random conversation

n: go to sleep! you got prelims dear!
m: nooooooooo
m: YOU NEED A TAN
n: why!
m: you're white
n: whats wrong being fair. i'm chinese not white
n: then you're black
m: i'm brown
n: uh huh

the failure of spoken language

get a grip!
control yourself!
he's as far away as this guy : )

tyron says OMG its too far away.

breaking rules

haha.

'i better not stop writing, or nat's going to be on my case again'

im so sorry

then again i need you?

what the hell

my boo

hello mr marx!

i'm trying not to be conditioned to be his slave

nat world controls herself.

bye karl dude

bort

diamond deeds. she fell ill falling in love.
these are the sharp cutting edge diamonds

she has no idea about the elite situation but by her own thesis

physical attack is a lower form compared to verbal
verbal attack is a lower form compared to psychological and mental

she thinks her brother's pathetic

but he's really a loser.

truth

-
-
-
machines move me
-
-
-
and its FRIGHTENING

refresh

REFRESH!

SNAP!

WATCH THE TIME TICK!

REFRESH REFRESH!

MINIMIZE MAXIMIZE!

BUY LOREAL PARIS EYE LINER!

REFRESH! REFRESH! REFRESH!

thats my secret blonde boyfriend

seriously no idea

how much control he has over me. the extent of damage love fosters

do i really need him that bad? ahhhhhhh i was pursuing the fake

machines, they are so much help.

the internet

they are slaves to their conditioning making us slaves to them

transport. information highway

things i'll expect to start the decease of mankind.

mother earth

o good al gore.

a/n: the kitten's cute. he's got a hurricane but i've got a hardcore obsession

the cycle of life

you win some, you lose some.

this is why i always desired letters. this is why i love the postman. this is why i keep everything given to me nicely in a file

i really appreciate it.
today he didn't reply. natalie almost waited till 4am

its crazy really
we learn so much about other people. media, books, literature. concepts and philosophies so far off from our own world
then again we understand and analyze them all the time
when do we have time to understand ourselves
do you know yourself?
or after all these years its be too complex and complicated
too much of a mix up
your own identity's been put behind
its not all about community
i rather not care

ricci's really a cool dude.

he's made for the world.

p.s. i think the people who sleep during lects are total opposites from him.

relax reflect reflex

i thank you for the love. the borrowed love. yeah, i'm very sure it expired.
no use holding on

hate to love you is a good gauge

That’s how much I love you
That’s how much I need you
And I can’t stand ya
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like it for awhile
No.. but you won’t let me
You upset me girl, then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget that I was upset
Can’t remember what you did

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so..

And you completely know the power that you have
The only one that makes me laugh
Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me
And your kiss won’t make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you’ll probably always have a spell on me

part of the song. my imagination is some wild thing.

to celebrate the turning point.

here's extracts of something so close

'but hey, maybe wer 14th cousins twice removed or somthng...'

'OMFG, i remember me sittin in kg class drawing somthing, a bird i think, and this bozo ruined my drawing by giving it red eyes r somthg, and u chewed him out for me, i remember, YESSSS!!!'

'heyyy, good morning natalie! (can i call u nat?)'

'PS: u nvr kno, we were together in kg, it might happen again...'

'thats not rly true u kno, the french ar jst a lot more...well..relaxed about romance. besides, ive lived here for 12 years, u dont think some of it might hav worn off on me?'

'hmm, u can fire a gun? ill hav to watch my step when i come to visit u.

ha notice i said when not if, tho i dont kno when 'when' is gonna be. i do want to, ive never been to asia at all!'

'hmm... u like guys w/ long hair, huh? (me spots a problem...)'

'u silly girl, u wouldnt sleep on teh streets, weve got an extra bedroom. i mean i live in a fairly big house, 3 stories, front lawn, ...'

haha. my my.
let me appreciate love in the simplicity.

nat will not be jealous.

expect that fact

gulped snapple. there are signs while shopping!

'real fact' #251
there are more french restaurants in New York City than in Paris.

barbarians

he found my song

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

<>
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

but he hasn't found me

sigh.

so far away.

soma isn't a great thing.

just as about

now

castle says i might be s solipsist

which crush says is

'solipsism is just basically the idea that anything external to the mind isnt really reality'

maybe everything's an illusion. thanks to my parents, i was born into this setting. and now to save myself

ahhhh but now there is an awakening.

he passed by 12 years ago and turned my head
12 years later i caught his attention again.

its a pretty wonderful thing. dreams do come true
but climaxes aren't forever my dear
heard of 'everything must come to an end'

this is the late bloom of summer love
and i am gonna lose him once again

thank God i'm a herrly

bastard

mark i have nightmares and its emptying me slowing. or is it building up more pain and uneasiness?
is life some huge bus terminal which you eventually have to transfer from
yes
and we'll take quite a long time exploring it. experiencing it

sigh

ramos said go be boy crazy
i don't have the capacity at the moment
do i?
nah
i don't have the targets
haha
the more i treasure love, the harder it is to take away
life's problems

dream something of the beginning, not the end.

it slipped

when we were born

even through the toddler years, kid years, pre teen years, teen years

our parents forgot to tell us one catch in life

death.


thy need for spiritual empowerment

i hate mark!

seriously i will never love a robot.
thats so stupid!
and harsh.

i just can't seem to like settle on something.
that is that.

mark sucks like rotten fish!

void

she wants to love somebody.

but she's picky

really picky

an introduction

she's seriously off balance.
open yet conservative.
loud yet quiet
critical yet sentimental

i daresay she needs a guy
dashing
deep
chivalric

a bad boy turned good huh

she should wear glasses in school more often!

hello halcyon

welcome to a new beginning!

this is where she's gonna blog not in the literally form if possible.
yup. please read between the lines.

definitely different from the daily muses of the other blog.

she's sara.